Editor's Note: This is a story that needs telling and who better to tell it than Barb, herself. We Class of 58 alumni will forever be talking about what happened as a result of two of our classmates having attended our 40th reunion and talked over old times: Mark Wilson, former high school band member and football player, on dialysis for several years and on a number of lists for receiving a kidney transplant and Barb Tremaine Sanford, oncology nurse and former Captain of the Green Hornets Cheerleader Squad and soon donor-to-be... well, we'll let Barb tell you about it as we pursue our continuing saga and find out Whatever Happened to Barb Tremaine. Hi, Everyone! I am back in sunny Florida. I pulled up our web site at about 4AM the other night and found all your wonderful messages waiting for me to read. I began crying halfway thru - it was just overwhelming to think all of you were there with us. It's difficult for me to comprehend with my non-computer brain how this web site could reach so many people and that you in turn could reach out to us. Your many cards, calls and prayers meant so much to me especially being away from home and family. For that time in the hospital, for me, the class of 58 was my family. I thought maybe you might like to know how all this came about. Mark and I had gone thru 7th and 8th grades (Parley Coburn) and high school (SHS Class of 58) together. We got to know each other through classes and were on several of the same committees, etc, but were really not close friends. After high school I kept in touch with some of the girls who lived locally around Elmira - Bev, Laura, Maxine, etc and we often got together at Christmas and summers at the lake. When reunions came around they always encouraged me to go, but I opted instead to always watch you on tape, until the 40th (July, 1998) which I attended after much encouragement by them. It was wonderful seeing everyone again and I had such a great time, so few recognized me and it was hard to believe, because I had changed so little (insert laugh here). When I first saw Mark at the reunion - I just couldn't believe my eyes. I recognized him immediately and could tell how very, very sick he was. As Bill Cook said, he played his illness so low-keyed that many around him did not realize how very sick he was. And what an effort it was for him to even make ANY part of the reunion as he had to have dialysis every other day, no matter where he was, just to stay alive. My first reaction after he explained to me what was wrong, was why he had not received a kidney in these last 5 years, knowing that a transplant would and could restore him to a possible normal life again. Usually family members donate kidneys to siblings, etc, but in Mark's case, there was a possible pre-disposition or genetic problem which had caused his kidney failure (his Mother had also been on dialysis and so had a number of his cousins). He proceeded to tell me that he was on two or three transplant lists in different parts of the country but no kidney had become available and thus he was still waiting. I feel like I am sort of teaching a class here but thought this information might be interesting or even valuable to you, maybe in your circle of friends or family. Thousands of people like Mark die each year while waiting for a kidney. This is so sad. As a kidney donor, my chances for a problem increase only two percent after transplant and I was advised only to have an annual physical including some lab tests and my blood pressure checked. Otherwise, my life with one kidney should be the same as before. We are born with two, but one can do the job. For Mark, the waiting meant relying on dialysis for his existence which was progressively taking away any quality of life he did have. Because of dialysis and its complications, he endured such major illnesses as quadruple heart bypass surgery, complete removal of his sternum for osteomylitis, peritonitis and colon resection, just to list a few. The fact that Mark was standing before me at our 40th reunion on the Keuka Maid was a miracle and I knew it. If transplants could only be done at the time of kidney failure, instead of years on dialysis, many lives could be saved and a better quality of life obtained. As some of you know, I am an oncology nurse in Tampa, Florida and all I do at work is take care of people who are fighting to live, most of whom I can only make comfortable and hug and love and support through their various treatments. But here was Mark - someone I knew and I could make a difference for him. Well, with the two of us sitting there on the Keuka Maid my comment to him without really thinking was "You can have one of mine, I don't need two kidneys." At that time and throughout these past 6 months this has never seemed like any big deal to me. But I don't think Mark truly took me seriously. And his eyes filled with tears as I wrote down my address and phone number in Tampa. I was so sure that we would be a match that I went out and bought a robe for the occasion - even before I sent my lab test results out for cross match and tissue typing. When I received the news from the Mayo Clinic that we were a match I was so excited and I called Mark. He was quiet - not truly believing yet that this might happen. He remained guarded but hopeful throughout our many tests and the difficulties we encountered as we searched for a transplant team that would accept us. Finally Dr. Darras, who is affiliated with the University of Illinois, agreed to do us, although he knew that Mark was a very "high risk" patient because of his heart condition and I was "a little unstable mentally." (which you all knew anyways). Many institutions prefer not to do unrelated donors because of "ethical problems" and other reasons. Wow! Then it happened! It's been 12 days since the surgery and I am doing fine. I talk with Mark every few days, trying to keep up to date on how my kidney is doing. It's funny how you kind of still think it's still yours and you sort of worry about it. The chance of rejection is most likely to occur in the first three months so he will need strict monitoring for some time. Hopefully with the new medicines out today, rejection will not occur. Mark and I discussed all the risks concerning surgery, rejection, etc. prior to surgery and he continually said to me "two weeks, two months, two years - any time given to him without dialysis would make it all worth while." In my job as a nurse, I have seen a lot of miracles and I know I've seen God's hand in those miracles. And I know God's hand was in the operating room with Mark and me at St. Francis Hospital in Peoria, IL. But I also truly know that we could not have done this without all of you, and so here I am now at home in Tampa, actually sitting here in the sun, writing this to all of you, again thanking you for all the calls, flowers, cards, prayers and good wishes showered upon us. God Bless You All. Love, Barb PS: I think Mark and I are a little more than close friends now. He almost seems like family. Editor's Note: If you'd like to correspond with Barb, her e-mail address is: © 1999 SHS Class of '58
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